As the idea of having two kids becomes more of a reality I find myself doing very simple every day tasks with Beckett and wondering, "but how will I do this with a baby too?" What if I'm feeding the baby and Beckett suddenly has to go to the bathroom? How will I put both kids to bed when Mark works late? How on earth will I ever cook dinner? What if my house is never clean again? And so on.....
I did it. I packed the hospital bags and got the car seat ready. Beckett helped, he seems very excited about the idea of having a buddy in the back seat with him. I'm excited to have someone back there on binky duty. Anyway, I am now officially 100% ready for this baby to come. Every time I have a contraction or get a cramp I think, "I hope this is it". I know it's too early still, but I am just ready. Today I stared longingly at the clothes in my closet in the non-maternity section and almost shed a tear.
Today I really tried to focus on enjoying every second Beckett and I had together, just the two of us. I don't feel sad that these days by ourselves are almost over, but I want to really make them count and remember them, even if they are nothing out of the ordinary. We woke up and made coffee cake together. We stayed in our pajamas until 11, drove cars around the living room, and made a tent in his bedroom. In the afternoon we went swimming and got ice cream afterwards because I bribed him with an ice cream cone to go down the waterslide by himself. Nothing exciting happened; it was a quiet and rainy day, but sometimes days like today are the best kind.
And here is a little side-by-side comparison for those of you who are kind enough to reassure me how "little" I am or that I'm not any bigger than I was the first time. Liars.... well-meaning liars, here is the proof. On the left I am 39 weeks the first pregnancy, on the right I am 36 weeks the second pregnancy. Although even my maternity pants no longer fit, the good news is I weigh the exact same right now as I did at this stage the first pregnancy. I'm shaped completely different, but it's nice to know I'm not putting on a ton of extra weight, it's just baby...... a very big baby.