First Night Without a Binky

Tonight all the binkies were suddenly "broken" and Beckett and I had to throw them in the garbage. My heart ached as Beckett sat in his crib without much crying, and repeatedly asked for his binky. "Binky? Binky?" It only lasted 15 minutes. I turned on his lamp, gave him some books, and he fell asleep reading. I shed some tears over a piece of apple pie because I was so proud of him for going to bed without it, and a little sad that we just said goodbye to the last sign that he is a baby. There are still diapers I suppose, but I will be more than happy to get rid of those when the day comes.

Mark and I planned to throw out the binkies this weekend, but were going to wait until Saturday morning, and then keep him as busy as possible all day. We stayed out late tonight and I knew he was very tired; I figured that tonight was the time. I cut off the ends of every binky I could find. When I showed them to Beckett he said, "brokey?". I even choked up a little as I explained to him that they were broken and we had to throw them away. I'm such a sappy mom sometimes. I feel like I did when I knew I was done nursing: sad and in mourning for about 10 minutes, and then extraordinarily happy and overjoyed! Now I just have to go rip my house to pieces to make sure I get to every last hidden binky before Beckett does.

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