The Disastrous Adventures Of Dog Training

Sometimes my dog can be a real A-face. I decided that it's time to teach Murphy to heel. He's too strong, and often too naughty and it's time to put an end to it. Well tonight was an episode of Teaching Your Dog To Heal Gone Wrong.

Our second round of learning to heal was going rather well. Murphy does good until another dog walks by,  he sees a bird, a car starts, a leaf blows in the wind, he sees poo that is sniff-worthy.... who am I kidding? He has a serious case of ADHD and the slightest thing gets him distracted. He sucks as bad at paying attention as I do at keeping a secret.

We're walking up a steep path, leash wrapped half around my waist for some stability, and Murphy hating his new disciplined life. Suddenly this little energetic ball of a beagle comes out of nowhere, no owner in site. It was as if Murphy and Beagle Face were long lost best friends. Like Forest Gump and Jenny reuniting, minus the Washington Monument and water, and much much faster. Murphy raced downhill at full speed, knocking me on my butt.

There was nothing I could do except stay on my butt and act as an anchor to this maniac dog. The beagle ran circles around me as Murphy tested the elasticity and strength of his leash. I knew if I let go, Murphy's loyalty would be to the beagle and not to me. Not to the one that walks him no matter what the weather, pays for his food, cleans up his messes, and constantly shares treats with him.

Somehow the leash wrapped around my wrist, and suddenly I wanted nothing more than to let the leash go. Murphy and the beagle could run off into the sunset and make little ridgeback/beagle babies..... ridgegles, and live happily ever after. Murphy's excitement was much stronger than my butt acting as an anchor, and he pulled me over. There I am.... being pulled down hill on my back, my hand turning blue from no circulation, and I'm yelling, "Muuuuurphy! I hate you so much!!!"

I was finally able to get some slack, and untangle the leash. I stood up, praying that no one was around. I noticed creepy smoker man standing on his balcony watching the circus show I was in. It would have been nice if he offered to do something other than stare at me as if he wasn't at all amused, even though I know he totally was. I gave him a half smile, picked up my dignity, and started down the hill.

Not two seconds went by before Murphy had run a circle around a lamp post. The beagle was loving running back and forth to see how far Murphy's leash would allow him to reach. 2 or 3 good tugs and the lamp post was nearly pulled out of the ground. I left it artistically leaning at a 45 degree angle. I'm sure creepy dude was loving the show.

I eventually made it back to my apartment, right as the beagle's owner conveniently decided to call her dog. Everything that happened was the exact opposite of teaching him how to heal. I love Murphy, but sometimes he wipes me out physically, financially, and emotionally! Can you believe such a cute little face is capable of so much mischief?


Mama Walker said...

I think Murphy needs his "Dad" to go for these walks as well. Mark could at least have handled the beagle!! Love you guys and Murph too

Kira said...

Ugh, sounds familiar. I have a scar circling my left leg from a retractable leash burn. Dogs can be real jerks sometimes.

Katie Marie said...

Oh man! Dogs can be such a pain! That's why they're so dang cute, you can't help but love them! Good luck with the training!

Claire said...

oh i feel for you! heel training is the hardest. My sis just got a rescue staffie, and we have just about got him to heel...but like you say only of there is absolutely no distractions!
Do you ever watch The Dog Whisperer? His trick of a slip lead really high on the neck just behind the ears (above the dogs normal collar will keep it high) then just keep it there often needs re adjusting) is the best way we've found to keep Charlie to heel..if we use his normal lead attatched to his collar it's on the thickest part of the neck and he just pulls like a train...!
Oh and i really think if all dog owners followed some dog etiquette all would be happier, i mean where was the Beagles owners? what would they have done if Murphy didnt want to be hounded by an annoying dog and nipped him? Then they would blame your dog when they didnt even have theirs on a leash!!! GRRRRRRRR!!!

HealBalanceLive said...

I am sorry about the "incident" with Murphy, but I love the way you tell it. Great writing!