The Accidental Muffin Trick

Last week I suggested Mark start incorporating some healthy foods into his diet. Not because I think he's fat, or old, or going to die. My main reason was because sometimes he doesn't feel very good and I'm trying to take care of him because that's what spouses do. My second secret reason was because sometimes I have the hardest time figuring out what to make for dinner. He wants cheesy creamy saucy something, and I want wheat veggie something, it's very hard to compromise. I'm not sure what happened, but he took my advice to heart and immediately transformed into healthy dude.

I had recently made a batch of these uber healthy bran muffins. I was also making two other recipes at the same time using my octopus arms, but I must have gotten mixed up somewhere. I noticed the batter was much lighter than normal, but I baked them anyway.

The next morning as I grabbed one for breakfast on my way out the door, I felt like I was eating a salty chunk of horse feed. This muffin was the driest not-even-a-stray-dog-would-eat-it kind of muffin ever baked in the history of muffins. I quickly discarded of the evil little thing, but I did not think to destroy the other 11 salty cardboard lumps sitting on the counter. Little did I know this would result in one of the best tricks I've ever played.

30 minutes later my Popeye was headed to work. My words must have stuck with him over night because instead of reaching for his usual Poptart, he grabbed two of the bran muffins I'm always raving about. He whimpered and cried a little as he gagged down the salty dryness and thought "How does she eat these? It's so hard to be healthy". A few more tears, and he finished them both.

That night I told Mark I was throwing them out because I messed up on the recipe and they made me want to die. The look on his face was of complete betrayal, as if I had told him our life was a lie and I was really a man or something. I think this was the end of his healthy dude stage.