I've heard several people say that while they were pregnant with their second baby, they were scared that they could never love someone else as much as they love their first. Or they worry that their toddler will struggle with the idea that they aren't the only child anymore. I have been surprised that I haven't felt that way at all.
When Beckett was born, my heart's capacity doubled in a matter of minutes. It was as if my heart was going to burst because it had never felt that much love all at once, yet I still knew there was room for more. Last night my heart grew a little bit again as Mark and I sat with Beckett in his dimly lit room before bedtime, and talked to him about what it would be like when the baby is born. Or as Beckett calls it, "baby out?". I explained to him that the baby has to stay in mommy's tummy for a long time and Beckett responded with "baby sleeping" and making some snoring noises. I could see the wheels just turning in his little mind as we talked about the baby coming to live at our house, sharing toys, that babies cry sometimes, and that the baby even gets to ride in our car and go to church with us. Beckett nodded his head when he understood, and asked little questions in his own way when he didn't. It was such a sweet conversation. Although I sometimes get a little anxious and nervous about what taking care of two little ones will be like, moments like those remind me that Beckett is going to be a great big brother and that having two kids is going to be twice as much fun (and twice as busy).