Pre and Post Baby Word Definitions

Nap time
-Used to mean: Long Sunday afternoons cuddled in bed alternating between reading a good book and dozing off.
-Now it means: A very sacred 90 minutes that goes by all too fast where you race around the house seeing how much you can accomplish without making any noise. This is your only alone time for the day. Do not waste it sleeping.

Going out to dinner
-Used to mean: A night out at a quant and quiet restaurant chatting about the day and taking time to order dessert.
-Now it means: Choosing a fairly noise, kid friendly restaurant that won't take too long to get your food. Bonus points for a place that is willing to sweep up the mess of puffs and bread pieces you leave behind if you leave an extra large tip.

Gross kid
-Used to mean: When someone else's kid touched you and there was a definite sticky/wetness on their fingers.
-Now it means: This word doesn't really exist as part of your vocabulary anymore. No amount of dirty faces, snotty noses, barf, poo, and pee even phases you anymore.

Schedule
-Used to mean: An optional thing to have and something that was easy to change. Plans could be made weeks in advanced and changed at a moment's notice, or plans didn't have to be made at all and you could just pick up and go whenever you pleased.
-Now it means: The almighty and powerful schedule runs your life. Not a single decision, no matter how small, can be made without consulting the schedule first.

Driving
-Used to mean: A way to get from point A to point B. May be for business or pleasure.
-Now it means: Something that only happens during nap time. If you choose to drive during a time other than when the child will be sleeping, you hold your breath hoping they will not break out into an ear piercing scream before you arrive at your destination.

Movie night
-An event that often occurred after "going out to dinner" to see the latest movie at a theater.
-Putting a DVD in after baby is asleep and attempting (and failing) to stay awake.


Sleeping in
-Used to mean: Anything passed 9:00 am. Even if you are a morning person, there was peace of mind just knowing that you could sleep in if you happened to feel like it. 
Now it means: Waking up only once in the night to nurse and sleeping passed 6:30 am. 




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