I used to get tired of how often he needed to eat and the 20 minutes it took him seemed to last forever. Now he nurses for five minutes while pulling on my jewelry and choking me with the strings from my hood. I would love to just snuggle a peaceful little baby for 20 minutes again. I won't miss other things like pumping, teething, the challenges I had with swaddling, and not sleeping through the night, but looking back now I see that they won't last long at all. I always think about how excited I am for a few years from now when he can ride a bike, ski, swim, and do all the other things we love to do. But once that happens I know I will tear up when I think about the baby that my little boy used to be and how special those short few years are.
Rather than focusing on how much I want him to grow and move on to the next exciting thing so we can get past whatever little struggle we're having, I want to focus on the how precious and special the moment we're in is. His cute little squeal when his Dad throws him in the air will soon turn into a boyish laugh. I miss the sound of a sweet newborn cry. His current cry sounds more like an angry bird or small tyrant demanding that I feed him more and feed him faster. I'm so excited for him to start crawling, but I know that once it happens I will miss the days when I could sit him on the floor with a toy and not have to worry about what he is pulling out of my kitchen drawers.
I don't know how long he will be a my little baby Beckett for, but I know it won't be much longer. Soon he will be a little wild boy running around making a variety of gun and truck noises while jumping off our furniture. I am going to cherish everything about the baby stage, even the middle of the night feedings.