Winter Cuddles

 

Oh my goodness the chub on this little man is to die for. I just want to squish him and squeeze him and kiss his cheeks and hug him to pieces! 

 

At 5 am this morning I could hear him squirming around in his crib. He was asleep, but very restless. I don't usually do this, but I just couldn't resist taking him to cuddle in our bed. With the Antarctic temperatures we are currently enjoying, it's all our heater can do to keep our house warm. I think Beckett was just cold because as soon as he snuggled up next to me, he went right into a peaceful sleep. I didn't have to get up for another hour, but I could never relax enough to fall asleep knowing he is in my bed. The thought of a blanket, pillow, or me suffocating him is scary enough that I would lay there wide-eyed for hours. I didn't mind one bit though. I love listening to his little breaths and holding him in the warmth of our blankets and soft bed.

 

In my sleepy state I imagined just laying there forever, protecting him from not only the cold, but the harshness of the world. There are so many great things this world has to offer: wonderful people to meet, things to see, places to go, and adventures to experience. I can't wait for him to discover how incredible our world can be, but the mother in me wants to protect him from it all because with the good, will come some bad: mean kids at school, sickness, heartache, and lessons that can only be learned the hard way. I know he will have to make his own choices and do things that are difficult. I pray that he will know how much we love him and that we will help him with anything. I hope that he will have good friends and the strength to stand up for what he believes. I pray he has the same tender heart and kindness as his Dad, and that he always looks up to him as an example. I feel like I still have a lot to learn and that we are growing and learning together. It's only been three months and I've never cried so much before or been so happy in my life. It's just beginning, but I can see that raising a child is going to be the most stressful and joyful thing I will ever do. I can't wait.