Bite A Worm

When I was little I had this saying. I'm not sure where I got it from. Whenever something really grossed me out and made me want to grind my teeth together in disgust, I would say "It makes me want to bite a worm!" My parents had such a weird little kid. I did not want to bite a worm. I didn't even want to touch a worm!

Irrelevant, but funny side story:
When my best friend Shailey threw a worm in Melissa Payne's crazy long hair, She. Freaked. Out. She frantically ran around the yard screaming as if she had caught on fire. It's her fault for having such long hair and swinging her head around like a spasmo, that the worm got all tangled up and lost in the depths of it. We fell to the grass laughing almost as historically as she was screaming. I don't even remember if we helped her get it out. It may still be there today posing as a braid. Kids are so mean. (I said "kids are so mean" rather than "I was so mean" because it sounds like I was going through that mean phase all children go though, not being a crazy devil wild child.) I'd like to apologize to her. This story in no way makes me laugh now when I read it. Ok just a little.

Back to my main point. There are several words today that just make me "want to bite a worm". I can't stand when people say them because either they're gross, or they just bug. Please don't use them around me or I may throw a worm in your hair.

Words That Make Me Want To Bite A Worm:

Brazier- I always picture a zebra wearing a bra.

Lumpy- When your clothes don't fit you feel lumpy. When your pillow is lumpy it's uncomfortable. Any food that is considered lumpy is definitely disgusting. There just isn't a positive use for the word "lumpy".

Stoked- It sounds like "choked" and "stupid" combined.

Shortening any word that isn't even long enough to deserve an abbreviation:
Rezzie for reservation.
Presh for precious.
Grosh for grocery store.
Delish for delicious.

Oozing- You want to keep at least a ten foot distance between yourself and anything that is "oozing".

"Bacteria" used in the same sentence as "yogurt".

Replacing "cool" with "sick". Especially when followed by "bro".

11 comments:

kira said...

Those are good picks! I get annoyed with "presh" for precious, too.

Mel said...

haha this made me laugh. Kids say such funny things. When I used to work at a daycare, one of the kids used to say "Aw, pickles!" instead of like "oh shoot" or whatever. It was so cute! I love the stuff kids make up.

Mary Nevin said...

amazing..i like i may have to start using this. i'll definitely credit you :) also when people say sick or bro, i know that i make a face of bewilderment, sometimes it pays to not have a poker face!! happy weekend!

Lynn {hearted girl} said...

you are too cute! love "bite a worm" and the story behind it.

well that sure made me laugh, like right off the chair. i could just picture that poor girl running scared, oh my...the things we fess up to from our pasts. love you shared it total.

but oh nos, i say a few of the buzz words...will have to watch my p's & q's now. dag! oh was that one? really loved this post and thanks so much lades for visiting me. ♥

Bri said...

i'm now going to teach the kids i work with the expression "bite a worm!" haha :)

Claire said...

Haha!! That made me laugh on a dull rainy sat morning :)x

michael. mindy. dane. said...

shoot. i think i use more than half of these in my daily blog posts. ha!

anna p of just me. said...

i'm so with you on the "sick" thing. i hate that.
but i will admit to shortening words. i do it all. the. time. i've done if for YEARS though and somehow it developed into the way my besties and i talk to each other. it makes me laugh!

i love this post. great. great.

Victoria said...

hahaha stoked! That's hilarious! I use that word sometimes but I love love love how you described it hahaha

Relevant Notes Blog said...

Oh my goodness, these are hilarious!

Chickavee said...

I just used the word 'scoped' in a post, and all I could think was "Oh no, Jamie hates that word".
But everything is right with the world; your word was 'stoked', not scoped. =)