The Four S's


I don't want to be the mom that has to do everything according to what some book tells her, but when it comes to sleeping and schedules I need some guidance! Some things come naturally, but getting a baby to happily go to sleep on their own and sleep through the night (two things that are very important to me) do not. I decided at 5 weeks to start trying to get him to fall asleep in his crib rather than my arms or his swing. I hadn't read much about it, but just decided to give it a try. After 10 minutes of listening to him cry by himself in his crib, I knew that crying it out was not going to be the answer for me. There had to be something else. I did a little late night research while feeding him, and discovered The Four S's from the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. I didn't actually read the book, but I read about the theory behind it and other people's experiences with it. It made sense to me and I decided to give it a try the next day. So far it's been a dream. I know that he will change as he becomes older and more aware, but hopefully by starting this early he will be used to the bedtime routine and it will continue to be successful. 

The Four S's


  • Setting the Stage
  • The first step is to have a bedtime routine that you do every time weather it's for a nap or bedtime. You want it to be calm and begin in the room where to baby will be sleeping. For us it's as simple as closing the blinds, turning on some white noise, and singing a song. As he gets older I would prefer reading a book over singing. I'm sure he will prefer that too; I read much better than I sing. Sometimes he goes to sleep on a walk, in the car, or in Grandma's arms and that's ok. But the majority of the time I try to have him sleep in his room.
  • Swaddling
  • The next step is to swaddle them up nice and tight. They say that even if it seems like your baby doesn't like it, try anyway. At three weeks I stopped swaddling because I thought he didn't like it, but after reading this I tried again. He squirms a bit at first, but I can see that he calms down so much faster with the swaddle than without it. I love the little swaddling blankets with the Velcro, those things are nearly impossible to break out of. It's like a little baby straight jacket.... in a loving way. Babies sleep in 45 minute cycles. During that 45 minute transition back into a deep sleep he would sometimes wake all the way up. Since I started swaddling him he seems to sleep through it better. If he does wake up his arms don't start flailing around and freaking him out so he can put himself back to sleep. After learning about the 45 minute cycle, I always give him a good 5 minutes before I pick him up unless he is screaming his head off because 9 times out of 10 he goes back to sleep if I leave him alone. 
  • Sitting
  • After you have them swaddled, you sit for 5 minutes. This is where I sing to him. The trick is that you sit still though, no rocking and bouncing. He usually squirms and wiggles the first minute or two, but then I can see his body relax and he starts to calm down. I'm breaking one of the rules by giving him his binky. The books says they should learn to fall asleep without it. So far it hasn't been a problem. Once I lay him down it may fall out once or twice. I'll put it back in for him, but after a couple of minutes he is relaxed enough that when it falls out it doesn't seem to bother him. I suppose I may regret this in a few months, but it works for us for now. Once you start to see the signs that they are falling asleep you lay them down while they are drowsy, but still awake. Beckett's eyes start to shift back and forth and he gets this really cute drunken smile. If I don't start to see those signs after 5 or 6 minutes of sitting there, then I know he isn't really tired and it's still play time. 
  • Shush-pat
  • I haven't ever had to use the fourth S. You use this step if your baby starts crying. You keep baby in the crib and whisper "shh, shh, shh" while patting their back. I'm not sure if this would work or not. Hopefully I don't ever have to try it. 
So far his nap times are different every day. Maybe as he gets older I will just know what time I need to go lay him down. For now I follow the Baby Wise method of eat, play, then sleep on a three hour cycle, but it's at different times every day. I've started trying to do 3 1/2 hours, but it doesn't look like he is ready for that yet. After he has eaten I try to keep him awake for at least an hour. Sometimes he stays awake until it's time to eat again, sometimes he gets sleepy after being awake for just a little bit. Once I start to see the signs that he is getting sleepy, I take him to his room to swaddle him and start the routine. If he is in his swing and starts getting tired, it's so tempting to leave him there. I know he'll sleep very well and I can get a lot done around the house, but each time we do the little bedtime routine it seems to get easier and easier. The first few weeks I would pace the hallway for a good 10-15 minutes in the middle of the night to get him into a deep sleep after eating. Then I would try my hardest to lay him down without waking him up. I'm so grateful I don't have to do that in the middle of the night anymore. I'm even more grateful that I haven't had to listen to him cry himself to sleep. 


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