My Three Biggest Fears

The next item on my 30 Things list is to write about my three biggest fears and where they came from. I'm not afraid of some of the usual fears: heights, being alone, death.... I don't like spiders and snakes, but I wouldn't say they are in my top three. I love taking risks and getting an adrenaline rush doing things like bridge jumping, long boarding, rock climbing, roller coasters, and I really want to go sky diving!

My top three biggest fears in order are:

1. Being pregnant/giving birth
I don't know why all these girls my age "can't wait to have a baaaaaby". I don't think they understand what having a baby means. I am the oldest of four; I watched my Mom go through 27 months of pregnancy and was present for my sibling's births. Let me tell you, it does not look like a cutesy party with miniature clothes, giggles, cuddles, and there is no "pregnant glow". It's more like barf, screaming, poopy diapers, pain, stretch marks, water retention, bills, and more poo. And just in case you think the delivery room is where you meet the stork when he drops off the baby, you might want to Wikipedia child labor to see where babies really come from.

2. Debt
I am ok with a few types of debt: mortgage, student loans, and car loans (but only if you have to). I'm not crazy about any kind of debt, but these are debts that are generally good investments and will pay off in the end. Car loans will not get you ahead in life financially, but I consider it an investment in my health. Nothing causes my blood pressure and stress level to rise higher than car problems.

I am hypervigilant about avoiding credit card debt and missing payments on any monthly bills. An unpaid bill sitting on the counter makes me talk really fast, clean everything, and create countless to-do lists. Creating lists is apparently how I cope with stress.

3. Leeches
I have never had a leech on me, I have never seen someone else with a leech on them, and I have never actually seen a leech in real life. I don't know where this fear came from, but possibly from watching one too many nature survival shows. I have swam in many lakes and rivers and my number one thought is always, "I hope there aren't leeches in this water". I am more afraid of a leech in a lake than a shark in the ocean. If I stepped out of a lake with leeches on me I think my response would resemble a person caught on fire.


michael. mindy. dane. said...

oh man. i have to comment about #1 even though i don't know what to say. even though you saw your mom go through labor and pregnancy, it really isn't bad. at least, mine wasn't. yes, i barfed. yes, my face was swollen to the size of a balloon. but at the end of those 9 months? i can't even describe that. the screaming and the poop is nothing compared to that baby that is YOURS. i'm sure you don't want to hear mushy gushy about this, and i'm not trying to be that way, but i can't help it! i told michael tonight that i think dane is made of pure gold or sugar or something, because when i put him in bed and he asks for a fort and then says 'night' in the sweetest voice you've ever heard and then says 'djoo' in response to my 'i love you.' oh gosh. i turn into a big pile of mom goo and i die on the spot. seriously there is nothing better in the world. again, not trying to be mushy, and i'm sure this isn't the kind of response you want to this comment, but i am just obsessed with my child and being his mom so i had to say how freaking amazing it is! so don't be scared! the end :)